All that i need is the air that i breathe, all that i need are things i don’t need. And all that really matters is what matters to me… And who of you are like me? – Shannon Hoon

27 May

What is up kids?

So between being hungover over and being at work on this gorgeous day even though most of my friends have already taken off because they are way smarter then me, i will tell you right now that i am already checked OUT.  If you are one of my clients, my advice to you would be either to call back on Tuesday if you want me to do anything, or if you have to get something done today expect it to be done poorly and/or wrong. 

And honestly i don’t care, cause f everybody who makes me do work today.  For real, what is the point of owning your own business if you have to do awful work on Friday before Memorial day weekend?  Wow, you run your own buisness but my loser friends with the $hitty jobs are already drunk down the shore enjoying the sun while you are wearing a suit and tie in your office talking to your accountant.  Looks like you really made it buddy.

The more i write this the more i realize what a moron i am for being here today.  It’s making hate everyone and everything, and everytime my phone rings i have a mini breakdown.  i can’t even be fired up that i have off Monday yet, i’m too busy cursing myself for being a f’n ahole who forgot to take today off!!!

Haha i had a good idea for today’s blog but i’m just too riled up to do it so whatever, you get this rant and that’s it.  And just a reminder, next week there will be no Monday blog due to the holiday so i will CU next Tuesday instead.  As far as moving to only 2 blogs a week i guess i’m still doing that but i’m not totally sure.  But next week will definitley be on Tuesday, and then either Thursday or Friday depending on what i’m figuring.  Although after today’s awful debacle who knows if any of you will even bother to come back.  But whatever i know no one’s reading this anyway because you’re all relaxing on a beach while i am literally stuck in hell!!!!!  Enjoy some random nonsense already…


-How come girls NEVER have single friends?  The math doesn’t seem to work out for me, i mean i’m guessing there are a ton of single girls out there.  i just apparently never meet any.  And any of the girls i’m friends with, none of them are ever like “Oh you should meet my friend what’s her name, she’s my single hot friend who loves weed and football and she works at Best Buy and has a crazy discount.”  Nope, that never happens.  Because girls do not have single friends.  So thanks for nothing ladies!

-To all the fellas, if you see a pregnant woman, DO NOT ASK HER IF SHE’S HAVING TWINS!  Or if you do want to ask her that, just make sure to say, “Wow, even for a pregnant woman you are really really fat!”  Because that is basically what you are saying anyway.  i know guys are the worst and trying to help them out is a losing cause but i try to do what i can.

-Republicans always talk about teachers being too “liberal”, and that they spread their liberal ideas to children and that is bad for the country.  First of all, if the most educated people in the country happen to be liberal that should probably tell you something.  But besides that, when you were a kid was there anything that you gave less of a $hit about then politics?  These people act like teachers are telling kids all these liberal ideas and then kids are going to grow up thinking they should vote Democratic.  Really?  i didn’t get into politics until WAY after high school, and most of my friends are still not into it.  So i’m guessing even if these liberal teachers were preaching their ideas it must not have worked too well because most people i know either don’t follow politics or don’t care or both.  And if anything, if i was a kid and a teacher started preaching some liberal nonsense i would just go against whatever they were saying just for the fact that they are tools.  “Wait my english teacher voted for John Kerry?  i will vote for George Bush just out of spite!”  Actually, i’m pretty sure that’s how George W got elected that second time…

-i’m a big Barry Bonds fan.  Yeah i know he’s an ahole but at least he doesn’t even try to hide it.  He hated the media and he let them know it every chance he got.  “But he used steroids and he lied about it!”  First of all, most of these players did and everyone knows it.  But Bonds had to watch American go CRAZY over Mark Mcguire when he was obviously using steroids when he broke the record.  But Mark Mcguire is white and likeable so the entire country cheered him on.  All Barry Bonds did was figure, “Hey, if America has no problem with someone taking steriods to beat the record then i’m going to take a bunch of them and f’n CRUSH that record because i’m way more talented.”  And what happened whem Bonds broke the record?  “OMG he’s cheating!  There needs to be an asterisk next to his name by the home run record!”  Oh, so because he’s unlikeable and black all of a sudden it’s not okay to cheat anymore.  No wonder he hates the media.

“Facebook etiquette”--Hey Facebook, when i’m creating an event , can you not automatically put an end time 3 hours later then when i put my start time?  This may be one of my Facebook bits that not everyone gets but i feel pretty passionately about it.  “Hey Miguel, i saw that your birthday party starts at 9 pm but ends at Midnight??”  Nope, Facebook just decided for me that my party is going to be lame.  Thanks Facebook!

Ugh, this blog is B material at best but what can you do i guess.  There was at least a chuckle or two in there wasn’t there?  No?  Fine i’ll make sure to send you your money back.

And oh yeah congrats to my boy Charles and his wife Rachel who had their first child yesterday!  Normally i hate anything that has to do with kids and marriage and awfulness but these two are one of the few couples that should be together and i love them both and couldn’t be happier for them.  All my friends are growns up!  Yet i sit here in agony after boozing at the 9 iron all night and then coming back to play pong outside till 1 in the morning.   Oh the different lives we lead…

Have a great long weekend everyone, and remember i will see you on TUESDAY.  – miguel jo$é

One Response to “All that i need is the air that i breathe, all that i need are things i don’t need. And all that really matters is what matters to me… And who of you are like me? – Shannon Hoon”

  1. Anonymous May 27, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    lol i love that you're just as miserable as me…i'm an accountant and tax season is done…give us a damn 4 day weekend…annoyed and not productive at all today!

    Stef Williams


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