Alright brain, you don’t like me and i don’t like you. But lets just do this and i can get back to killing you with beer. – homer simpson

27 Apr

What is up kids?

“OMG miguel the new blog format and fonts look money!  And let me also say that now that it’s easier to make comments I do it i all the time! And i also became a follower just like you asked, so now you know how many people actually check out your blog!” 

Aww, thanks people responding to my blog the way i wish you did, i totally appreciate it.  That’s all i’m asking for really, is a random follower getting added once in awhile or a even a small comment to let me know i’m doing okay.  So thank you for your kind words imaginary friend, they mean the world to me!

And to the rest of you go F yourself already haha.  Nah i’m just teasin, i’ll be honest if it were any of you writing this garbage i’d probably never comment.  And i definitely would NOT become a follower that’s for sure.  So yeah i guess it doesn’t make sense for me to ask this of you when i would never, EVER return the favor.

Wow, that’s a lot of needy complaining on a Wednesday huh?  Today’s Random Nonsense better be good, and not like that B- material he tried to pass off to us on Monday.  “Although wait, is he almost through his entire intro but has yet to make any point other then giving himself props for the minor changes to the blog no one even noticed?  Man, i was waiting for the day he would give up and stop even trying, i just really didn’t think it’d be so soon!”  Thanks Tomas, i actually thought you dug my blog but i guess you don’t.  Man if i can’t trust my own brother who can i trust???

Haha i probably should have called this intro random nonsense today because if anyone followed that rambling awfulness then God bless you.  Sometimes i just want to see what happens if i write quickly without thinking and apparently now is sometimes.  So i hope you all enjoyed that, it’s Wednesday so if a poor intro to my blog is the worst part of your day you’re probably doing pretty good.  Definitely better then me anyways.  And maybe i don’t need a topic for every blog, what is this a graded essay for a class i’m taking?  How bout this, it’s my blog and i’ll do what i want.  “But we all like when it’s structured every day!  We don’t like surprises!”  Of course you don’t imaginary person from the joke i apparently use all the time, but it’s definitely fun to mess with people’s heads sometimes haha. 

And oh yeah, to those of you who are followers and who actually do make comments sometimes i really do thank you, you guys are the bees knees.  Wouldn’t that be an awesome name for a punk band, the Bees Knees?  I think so anyway.  Another good punk band name i’ve come up with is “Toenails and Pubic Hair”.  Wow, what am i even talking about?  These kinds of comments belong in… 


-i hate Capri pants.  I don’t mean i dislike them or am not really a fan, i mean i straight up HATE them.  “Whoo hoo, check out my calves!”  Terrific, you’re literally showing me the only part of your body that doesn’t give me a b0ner.  Definitely don’t wear a skirt which is the hottest thing ever, wear those dumb ass capri pants instead.  No wonder you’re single.

-When you lose a loved one, like a grandmother or someone close to you, people will say things to you like, “Well, now you have another angel watching over you”.  But i have to be honest, i really hope she’s not watching me.  Actually, i hope NO ONE is watching me.  i do a lot of f’d up $hit kids, for real.  i’d rather not be judged in this life or the next.  So please nana, whatever you do… don’t watch over me.  You’ll be disgusted and dissapointed, and that is the BEST case scenario….

-Considering how much i’m into younger girls, i’m really surprised my favorite tv show isn’t that show “Skins” on MTV.  If you don’t know that show google it to complete my joke please.  Are you back?  That S is hilarious right?  In an f’d up kinda way i mean.

-Have you seen these Wendy’s commercials saying their fries are better then McDonalds?  Um, relax you red headed b1tch, all the sea salt in the world won’t knock McDonalds off the one thing they do right.  Push your new fries all you want but please don’t insult me while you do so.

-Oh and speaking of commercials, do you realize what awful brainwashing nonsense they are?  Commercials have actually convinced people that the word “Cold” makes a beer taste better.  You hear this bull$hit ALL the time.  “Icy Cold” beer.  Bud “Ice”.   Coors light in the Cold Rocky Mountains, with the frozen ice train with the snow and the cold and the ICCCCEEEE… Do you realize what f’n bull$hit that is?  If you don’t realize it, i have a beer i can sell you.  I took a dump in a bottle and put it in the freezer over night.  I call it, “Miguel Jose’s Icy Cold Brown Lager”.  I’ll be honest it tastes like $hit,  but MAN it sure is Icy Cold!!!

“Facebook etiquette”- Hey fat people, you’re not fooling anyone with the “At the Gym!” status updates.  Next thing you know you’ll create your own blog and talk about “running” thinking that maybe talking about it will get you motivated.  Well it won’t, and lying about working out on your status updates won’t work either.


4 Responses to “Alright brain, you don’t like me and i don’t like you. But lets just do this and i can get back to killing you with beer. – homer simpson”

  1. Jim April 27, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

    Hey… you leave Coors Light out of this.


  2. Christienne April 27, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

    Miguel I have to admit I have read all your blogs and I think they are very entertaining. You always make me laugh with all your sarcastic crap. Anyways… keep it up.. you never know who's reading this


  3. pinkfishgrl April 28, 2011 at 3:57 am #

    Let me just start by saying you had me at the second sentance of your random nonsense. I def feel lik eits the best part of your blogs so I love it.
    Im a jerk and never youtube or google anything you tell me, not cause I dont care but because i cant stop reading the rest of your blog and hearing your voice in my head when i read it, hahaahaha.
    Those seasalt fries….will NEVER compare to Micky D's fries.

    hahahahmmmm I love reading your blogs..srsly


  4. Eden April 28, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    I think capri pants are awesome….sometimes we want to be comfortable and not get a cold breeze up the hooha. And what's your deal with feet anyway?…even manicured soft pretty feet? Brian's the same way…I think you two should date.


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