And i quote the late, great Colonel Sanders who said, "I’m too drunk to taste this chicken"- Ricky Bobby

13 Apr

What is up kids?

So i’m thinking since no one really comments on my blogs that either the people who say they are reading this really don’t and/or i just haven’t made this blog worth commenting on i guess.  “But i have made some comments miguel, why are you bashing me?!?!”  Relax the two of you who have bothered, this intro isn’t for you.  But i’m wondering if this is because i’m not being honest or ruthless enough on my blogs to make people comment?  i don’t know but i’m gonna say thats what it is and try a little harder today…

So i realized i love getting wrecked.  Yeah i know what a shocker.  But for real i love boozing my face off, i love doing power hours, i love funnels, i love playing a$$hole, i love doing shots when i’m already blacked out and then throwing up all over the place and continuing to drink… boot and rally!   i love deleting my texts from my phone as soon as i wake up because i don’t want to know which texts i’ve sent and/or received the night before. i even love being incapicated for a full day after a night of binge drinking to the point where i’m so sick in bed and i can’t keep any food down and i’m so hurt up and exhausted but i can’t sleep because i can never sleep when i’m hungover and i ruin at least one whole day just because i drank too much.

i know what you’re thinking, i really enjoy the hangover part?  i would say definitely not but it keeps happening again and again, so by that rationale i guess if i hated being hungover that much you’d think i would either stop drinking or stop drinking so much.  But i don’t, and i don’t plan too.

How do all of you “responsible” adults stop doing partying like this?  i would guess most of you that are reading this at the very least partied when you went to college, if only for a night or two.  And if you didn’t go to college you either totally partied even crazier and/or you’re too dumb to read this anyway.  But it seems like for girls that once they graduate college they just enter that phase where they say “that’s it for partying!” and then they basically stop drinking, except for maybe social occassions.  And they will never get out of control unless it’s a bachorlette party or something.  Guys party a little longer after college but most of them are ready to get married in their late twenties, or at least have some girl con them into thinking they are ready to get married.  So once that happens their times of boozing heavily are limited to say the least. 

But for real, i honestly don’t know how you kids do it.  i mean i guess i have to grow out of this mentality eventually huh?  Although who wants to grow up?  i mean besides all of you that are married or in serious relationships or have kids and are already grown up haha.  Is it really worth it to be mature?  One of my best friends has a house, a family, and he does stuff like going to christenings on sunday or to a 2 year olds bday party… is that what i’m trying to grow up for?  The thought of that stuff makes me feel worse then one of those deabilitaing hangovers i was talking about before

i don’t know, i keep expecting i’m going to grow out of this “phase” i seem to be in but i just don’t see it happening.  Because my name is Rod, and i like to party.  Am i ever suppossed to want to stop partying?  Is that what growing up is?  Or is growing up just knowing that we can’t party all the time, and we need to work towards goals in life and be mature enough to know when it’s time to party and how much is too much and to not overdo it.  Maybe that’s my problem, or one of the thousands anyways.  i think partying too much is f’n hilarious.  i honestly do.  And i can’t afford a trip to Hawaii, or an all expenses paid cruise, or even a high class dinner with the finest foods and wine around.  But i can afford a $14.99 thirty pack of natty light and some solo cups to play a pong tournament on a Wednesday night, eating a ton of wings and then punishing the bowl with both vomit and with a hot wing sauce deuce while still managing to get myself to work the next day, that’s my “vacation”.  And the only cruise i ever go on is when i’m crusin’ for a brusin’!

So judge me if you will person reading this, it doesn’t bother me.  While you sit there remembering all your fun times in college mine have never stopped.  And my memory isn’t too great anyways so i guess the next best thing to do is to keep making new ones, even if those memories are of nights i don’t really remember anyway…

RANDOM NONSENSE

-Your welcome for the Hot Rod reference the 4 of you who are cool enough to have gotten it.

-i think one of the funniest images in life is a guy who is masturbating and crying at the same time.  i don’t know why but something about that image just makes me laugh hysterically.  Especially when he’s alone in the shower, like he’s trying to wash away his sins as he commits them i guess.  And maybe add a bottle of jack daniels or something to this scene.  Alright that’s it, a guy crying while masturbating in the shower holding a bottle of jack daniels listening to REM’s “Everybody Hurts” is the funniest image ever

-i love the idea that i believe the water cup used during beer pong does a thorough job of cleaning the balls. And for once yes, that is what she said.  But it’s funny that a disgusting never changed water cup is thought of as the perfect way to clean off dirt and mud and vomit.  I’d say something but it seems as though everyone playing is okay with it, so whatever i’m down too.  Gotta love peer pressure

-i’d like to thank republicans for not even bothering to try and hide the fact that they only want to support the rich and have nothing but disdain for the poor and middle class.  “Here’s our new budget plan, we cut spending on all social programs for the poor and elderly and are getting rid of medicare and medicade but we are actually lowering taxes for the richest 1% in the country”  Good for you republicans! First you stopped pretending you weren’t racist with the whole birther issue and now with your new budget you are just showing the country that you are only interested in protecting the rich and screwing over the poor.  Too bad democrats are such pu$$ies they won’t be able to get that message across to the American people.  Well the people that don’t live in the Fox news bubble anyway

That’s it for me today kids, i’m super busy at work and i found out some news that has had me distracted all day.  I will say that whatever prayers i have left in me go out to my friend Brian and his family.  As far as personalities go Brian could not be more opposite then me as far as emotions, if i wear mine on my sleeve he has his locked up in safe somewhere haha.  But just know we are all here for you brother, and all of our thoughts are with you.

-miguel josé

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3 Responses to “And i quote the late, great Colonel Sanders who said, "I’m too drunk to taste this chicken"- Ricky Bobby”

  1. Eden April 13, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

    ahaha….love it. The partying, never does need to seize. You do what you want in life and certainly not everyone should get married and reproduce. PTA meeting? or naked pong?….that's an obvious choice. If more people thought like this the world would be a happier place…and smarter. So I say party on Garth. (and p.s….if you marry someone cool…the partying doesn't end)

    Like

  2. Alicia April 14, 2011 at 2:58 am #

    <3 Brian

    Like

  3. Angel April 14, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    LMAO @ the guy in the shower! At first I thought you were talking about yourself, but when you mentioned REM's “Everybody Hurts” I realized; It's me! How did you know? Have you been peeping again you sly dog?

    Like

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