They don’t grade fathers, but if your daughter’s a stripper you F’d up – Chris Rock

4 Apr

What is up kids?

I’m running on fumes after the weekend i had, it started with a power hour between my brother and sisters on saturday night and ended sometime around midnight last night after a Brazillian bbq all you can eat feast during the day and more food and dessert and mayhem watching Wrestlemania at night.  So my weekend was pretty fantastic but it will be this blog that suffers for it today.  Although i have some money random thoughts which i already can tell is what people want to read anyway.  “Hey guy, can you relax w/ that boring diary part in the beginning and just get to the jokes already?”  I hate you person that is saying what everyone is thinking, i’m going to make this beginning part even longer out of spite! 

No i’m not, but i do need to be honest from the beginning.  i said my weekend ended last night but it didn’t really, it actually ended this morning when I got up.  Right before my shower I threw up HARD in the bathroom, like my normal I had been boozing beers and shots all night kind of hangover throwing up.  But the thing is… i didn’t drink yesterday, at ALL.  I just ate so f’n much between the all you can eat buffet and appetizer combo we ordered almost as soon as we got back and the ice cream and the cinnabon (heck yes i had a cinnabon) and the brownies and pizza and popcorn and french fries that i literally held it in all night and threw up this morning.  And all I was thinking is how it makes a LOT of sense how i am single with no kids right now, even though i know this image is a huge turn on to any of the girls reading this.  And prob some of the guys too, who am i kidding?

But to tie in today’s quote to my point for today it is that if i do have kids eventually, i really hope i have a girl first.  I know most guys don’t feel this way, all guys just assume having a boy would be easier because you can watch and play sports w/ them and get them guy toys and what not.  And all they can think about having a girl is having to deal w/ boys or going to ballet practice and buy dolls and that kind of nonsense.  But do any of these guys stop to realize the love a daughter gives to her father?  It is unconditional, and if you treat her right she will be daddy’s little angel FOREVER.  Sure you have the responsibility to shape her entire existence on which type of guy she ends up with, but i would have no problem taking care of my little princess and giving her anything she wants in the world.  The daugher will always fight with her mother, because they are both girls and girls always fight, it’s in their nature.  And who is going to come to her rescue evertime she’s fighting with mommy?  Daddy, that’s who.  Because she knows she’s daddy’s girl and he’ll always take care of her and be on her side.  He’s not gonna take mommy’s side, that b!tch is crazy and we both know it.  But her King will always be there to protect his princess.

And the other thing is, i really think i can use that type of attention in my life.  Someone who loves me unconditionally and never judges me, and all they want is for me to be there for her and always protect her and just needs me to be her hero.  I can’t do that for myself or anyone else but i think i could do that for my daughter if i had one.  Sure the puberty years will be tough but that’s a problem at least 12 or 13 years away from now and hopefully by then I’ll be mature enough to handle it.  And at least I’ll have 13 years of nothing but daddy love from my angel before i get there.

Boys, on the other hand, are messy loud disasters who will break and destroy everything you have.  They are like little mentally challenged idiots on red bull who question everything and cry more often then girls.  Who wants to deal with that nonsense?  So good luck guys who are hoping to have boys when they have kids.  You can raise that little terror covered in mud and dirt and blood who just got hurt throwing rocks at each other w/ his friends, i’ll watch my little angel who’s playing house inside with her dolls getting ready for her brownie meeting.  And who loves her daddy 🙂

RANDOM NONSENSE

– i keep saying i want to give up drinking, but there’s always an event or holiday that makes me blow it immediately.  I’m giving on Monday! oh wait St. Patty’s day’s this week… Alright fine First week of May! Oh wait it’s Cinco de Mayo and my friends’ bday.  That’s it i’m quitting tomorrow!  oh wait that’s right, Friday’s on a Friday this week…

-In general i find that girls are pretty negative.  They can take ANY statement and turn it into a negative one, it’s amazing their ability to do this.  Like you’ll make a comment to a girl and go, Oh hey is that a new perfume? “Why, you don’t like it???”  Wow, the insecurity it takes to turn is that a new perfume into me not liking it is just amazing.  Only girls do this, you never see guys do it.  Hey Spiga, you going to the basketball game on Friday? “Why, are you saying i have a big a$$????”  i mean yeah i do think that but how did you know….

-i hate driving.  Just in general but especially when it’s like a bunch of people and everyone needs a ride somewhere.  That’s why i drive a 2 door pickup truck, it has enough room for me and my stuff but not my ahole friends.  It’s perfect 

– Is it bad that i rely on facebook status updates to know if one of my friends is okay or not?  I know a friend who got black out drunk in Atlantic City this weekend and my first thought was I hope she posts some pictures Monday morning to let me know she’s alright.  Well how else would i know for sure?  Oh yeah i guess i could text her and find out.  That seems like work though.

-Whenever your bf or gf or significant other says they were hanging out with a “friend,” it is always someone of the opposite sex.  Otherwise they would just say “i was hanging out with Lisa”.  but no, it was a guy so he’s a friend. 

That’s it for me today kids, if you haven’t seen Colbert sing “Friday” on Jimmy Fallon’s show i’m putting the link below because it is f’n hilarous.  Cya Wednesday! – Miguel José
http://www.hulu.com/watch/229352/late-night-with-jimmy-fallon-stephen-colbert-sings-friday-with-the-roots?from=fb_share

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2 Responses to “They don’t grade fathers, but if your daughter’s a stripper you F’d up – Chris Rock”

  1. Angel April 6, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Yeah man, I have a girl, and let me tell you, it's not all sunshine and unicorns throwing up rainbows! What are you gonna do when you're little princess gets her period? When she's a teenager and wants to knock the king off of his throne by bringing some douche bag home for dinner? What if she gets pregnant out of wedlock? You ready to get cozy with that shit? =D

    P.S. I know what you mean about Spiga, but I know how she knows about me, she always catches me looking (shrug)

    Angel

    Like

  2. charles April 8, 2011 at 11:33 pm #

    Mig's….can you help me move some stuff this weekend. your the only one I know with a pick up truck and I could use the help. Your the best!

    Like

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