"I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at excercising"- Kenny Powers

30 Mar

What is up kids?  MAN do my friends know me well, i take one day off from writing this blog and everyone assumes i gave up already!  And normally if this was anything else in my life you would be 100% correct, but not this time!

I swear I must have received email after email after…. okay i only got two emails asking why i didn’t write anything yesterday.  The truth is is orginally i wanted to write this everyday or at least Mon-Fri, but after being told i would prob either run out of ideas, burn out and/or start to not like doing this and that i should only do it a few days a week i decided to take some advice for once instead of my normal following through of poor decisions and bad choices.

So for now, Here Comes the Money will come to you 3 days a week, Monday Wednesday and Friday.  If I feel like doing more I’ll just do it, otherwise you can be sure those 3 days i will def be here to drop what’s on my mind grapes and fill the interent with more obnoxious nonsense.  because besides porn we all know what the internet needs more of,  pretentious aholes who think people care what they think.  but to get to the topic for today…

Is it me, or is EVERYONE training for a triatholon these days?  am i missing something?  Apparently triatholons are hotter then Hansel rigth now.  Personally, i’m too lazy to do any one of those 3 activities on their own, let alone do all 3 in the same day.  or month. and by month i mean year.  One of my best friends does them all the time, his last one being in NY about an hour away from where i live.  That day i woke up early to go and surprise him during the race,  i got up at like 7:45 am on a sunday to catch him during the race part.  And the funny thing is, i feel like waking up early and spending a cold rainy Sunday afternoon just watching him compete is as impressive as him finishing an entire triatholon.  I honestly feel like the feeling he had after swimming biking and running, that’s how i good i felt about myself for waking up early and going to root him on.  in my eyes we were both winners that day.

speaking of being a winner, i went for a walk yesterday.  that was my compromise for not running, i told myself i’d go for a walk.  which if i was 57 years old then a walk would be a good thing, like if i was one of those mall walkers.  do any of you kids know about these people?  i just learned about this, and if you know someone who has worked in a mall then ask them about it because they definitley know.  but apparenlty old people go to the mall an hour or two before all the stores open, at this point the main doors are open so employees can get in but all the stores haven’t opened yet.  So old people use this time to do laps around the mall without the youngens around to bother them.  Apparently that is where i am at excersicewise these days, so if you see me at the mall in a matching red valore jumpsuit wearing all white sneakers drinking coffee at 8 am on a weekday you’ll know why. 

but yeah since i’m still young enough to actually go for an f’n run and i shouldn’t be so out of shape i get pretty depressed sometimes.  not enough to actually do anything, just enough to feel sorry for myself and feel like an ahole.  sometimes i think about people who don’t have legs and/or are paralayzed and would do ANYTHING to be able to run.  or i think about older people who can’t do it because they are just too old to do it.  like my dad for example, he LOVES running.  after scotch and maybe his family, running is his alltime favorite thing, and he can’t do it anymore because of his bad leg.  and it really pains me because i know how much he loves to do it, but the fact that he loves it and can’t do it anymore does not make me like running any more at ALL.  I wish he could have my legs so he could run because lord knows i’m not using them.  apparently all i need is my mouth and my stomach so i can shove awful food down it all day and night

i think my biggest problem is the only time i think running is necessary is if i’m being chased, which surprisingly doesn’t happen as often as you would think.  But the biggest reason i hate running is that the entire time i’m running the only thought that goes through my head is DEAR GOD I F’N HATE RUNNING SO MUCH I WISH THIS WAS OVER PLEASE KILL ME NOW WHY AM I RUNNING THIS F’N SUX F’N KILL ME over and over again until i finally stop.  once again my stupid loud thoughts are the death of me, they are the reason i cannot read or run!

Do any of you know anyone training for a triatholon?  You probably do because when someone trains for one it’s pretty much ALL they talk about.  for real some of these self rightgeous aholes will even start their own blogs to talk about their training everyday, and i guess they expect people to read it.  the conceit it must take to actually think people care that much about what you are up to to read a blog all the time, i tell you those kinds of people are just narcisstic obnoxious aholes who constantly need attention and are fantastic in bed.  that’s what i think


-does anyone else notice that the last part of a toothpaste roll lasts FOREVER?  i keep thinking i’m ready to throw it out but everyday i get a little bit more, that last part lasts about 1000x longer then the entire rest of the tube.   i swear i thought i was done w/ this roll of toothpaste back in the summer of 2008 but it just keeps going.  “well maybe if you brushed you’re teeth everyday you’d finish the roll of toothpaste you dirty mexcian!”  shut up racist person reading my blog

-if i ever meet or have met you at a party or a gathering, i will tell you right now i don’t remember you name.  unless you are a family member or have been in my life for a minimum of 5 years i don’t remember your name and/or prob don’t care.  i don’t even bother trying.  when we’re shaking hands and you go ” hi i’m….” i’m already tuned out.  i am not paying attention or trying for one second to listen to your name let alone remember it.  unless you’re super hot girl, then maybe i’ll at least attempt to try.  but if you’re average looking or you are a guy your name is “hey buddy” as far as i’m concerned. 

-a friend of mine is getting married and she told me about planning her honeymoon, she said they are going to Paris and all over Europe for 14 days and she was super excited.  All i could think of was, is there one person in my life i could spend 14 days straight with??  God it couldn’t be any of my friends, i love them to death but i can only handle them in small doses, a long 3 day weekend tops.  and by that third day i’d be like “i love you man but if you don’t f’n get away from me soon i will legit murder you”.  i guess this is why i’m not ready for marriage.  one of the reasons anyway

-DJ Megatron got shot the other day trying to buy weed.  The cops say it’s an open and shut case but am i the only one who thinks there’s more then meets the eye?  The joke there is that Megatron was a Transformer and their saying is “more then meets the eye” so its a play on words.  i’m explaining that because explaining jokes makes them funnier.

this is obnoxiously long today so i’m punching out, see you kids on Friday!

-miguel josé

One Response to “"I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at excercising"- Kenny Powers”

  1. pinkfishgrl April 5, 2011 at 4:29 am #

    Is it obnoxious that I comment on almost all of your blogs?? ehh I dont care anyways.
    HAHAHA hotter than Hansel lmao…I just laughed so hard I almost puked.
    Mall walking old people….so funny I was thinking about this subject today with all the old folk around here, and i realized I am not far ahead of the game. I was in the middle of my “Beginning to get in Shape walk” and I start feeling like colapsing but not before the 80 yr old muscle man goes zooming by jogging full speed and almost ran me over, lol im the WORST at trying to be healthy. BTW….Your “I love you celery with cream cheese” that you said one day to me made meeat that instead of a stuffed cheese pretzel…so thanks

    Toothpaste, hahaha lmao I cry laughed..lol hahahahaha…yes that was so great..i like the toothpaste one def, hahahaha…I was so thinking you dont brush often enough, hahaha


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