"I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual." You ever hear girls say that? I like to reply with "I’m not honest, but you’re really interesting"- Daniel Tosh

25 Mar

Holy S i’m glad it’s Friday, for real i did not think i would make it.  but of course work is already annoying, why do aholes always come up w/ the dumbest $hit for me to do right before the weekend?  oh wait that’s right, because they are aholes.  i love how it’s friday, the weather is actually pretty nice, i’m about to start my weekend but before I do i have to go through the hell that is my job. i wish i remembered the comedians name cause i always like to give credit when credit is due but this guy said if anyone is ever only given a month or two left to live they should come and work at my job, because everyday here is a fuking eternity…

so blog day 3. this has already lasted longer then most of my attempts at working out again.  but today i feel like talking about Lent because i’m going to lunch w/ a friend and she’s like we have to get pizza cause i can’t eat meat!  and although i think a lot of religous ideas/holidays are pretty ridiculous, this whole not eating meat on friday thing? c’mon, grow up already

i grew up catholic, i went to CCD and i did all the normal sacraments growing up.  now that i’m old enough to actually question stuff and look at things in a reasonable way i can’t say i really follow it anymore.  i won’t say i don’t believe in anything, but what I do believe in…. well i’m still working on that part i guess.  but for real, not eating meat on fridays?   I swear if i did believe in relgion and all that, and i did believe they are going to judge me at the gates before i get into heaven, i would seriously doubt my diet is going to come into question when they let me in or not.  I mean if i’m a good person and i try to treat people right, i’ve never killed anyone or commited any of the real big sins, i’m not getting into heaven because i had a steak on a friday?

i just can’t buy it.  i can handle the faith part of religion and i can understand prayer and certain rituals that people believe and get behind.  but once religion gets into food and/or clothes i just tune out.  i feel the same way about yamicas.  I need to wear a little hat all the time?  really? that’s what god cares about?  what hat i’m wearing?  idk, i’ve never met god, but i doubt he cares about my food habits and/or attire.  and not only do i eat meat on fridays, i feel like i go out of my way to eat it, just cause i’m an ahole.  and to be honest if i do get to the gates and they are weighing all my good deeds and bad deeds and it’s that KFC i had on friday that keeps me out i’m not sure i wanna be in there in the first place

sorry religious people, i’m sure this is offensive to you but when i order pizza today the biggest question i have is meatball or sausage… or bacon! yup i’m going w/ bacon.  and there’s religions where you can’t eat bacon?  jeebus help us all

Random nonsense

-when i said sorry religious people in that last paragraph i wasn’t really sorry

-is everyone else going to kill someone texting while driving?  it is SO dangerous, it is way worse then drinking and driving.  do you play that game when you stop at a red light and then you try to text your whole thought before the light turns green?  yeah me too.  let’s stop that already, we’re gonna murder someone!

-speaking of drinking and driving, i do not advocate it AT ALL. but if you have to do it my advice would be to put Visine in only one eye.  then if you get pulled over just tell the cops you have pink eye, because no one wants anything to do w/ someone who has pink eye!

-whenever you have to give a speech or a presentation at work or something, how come someone ALWAYS has to ask a difficult question that is really hard to answer and totally puts you on the spot?  i’m convinced the person already knows the answer and are just asking the question to make you look like a dumb ahole in front of evereyone.  thanks a lot deek, def don’t ask me after my speech just one on one so i don’t have to stand there in front of everyone when i obviously don’t know what you are talking about.  it’s hard enough to talk in front of people and you need to make it tougher w/ impossible questions?  go f yourself

– Lady Ga Ga is like a Bjork’ee Maddonna

-could you ever date a girl that has the same name as your mom?  idk, i think that’d be too weird.  every guy has the same answer though, “only if she’s really hot!”  but that’s a guys answer to everything. 

-the RING.  girls gotta have that ring man, girls cannot WAIT to get that ring.  They just want to be married, half of these broads don’t even like the guy they are with.  But they just need to have that ring, and they will turn ANY conversation you have to be about that ring.  “hey hunny, did you hear the phone ring?”  “No i didn’t hear the phone ring, how would i even know what a ring is when I dont’ have one? you see this empty finger?  Maybe if i had a ring i would know what a ring sounds like. A wedding ring that is, WHERE’S THAT RING MOTHERF’ER?!?!

have a great weekend everyone, cya Monday!

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2 Responses to “"I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual." You ever hear girls say that? I like to reply with "I’m not honest, but you’re really interesting"- Daniel Tosh”

  1. Life As I Know It March 25, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    HAHA…I like the visine bit. 🙂

    Like

  2. pinkfishgrl March 25, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    I have to wait till fricken Monday??!! Lameness. PS..stay away from those I gotta hav a ring biches. Kk Thanks
    -Tis I xo

    Like

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