I can’t promise i’ll try, but i’ll try to try. – bart simpson

24 Mar

Blog numero dos… i guess that’s an apt beginning for this stinking pile of $hit.  haha actually i don’t feel that way but it’s a funny way to start.

But yeah my new blog day 2, i say day 2 like i’m doing one of those blogs that actually have a meaning or a point.  100 days of exercising! 30 day countdown till the baby is here!  week 85 of the rash that won’t go away….

yeah none rash for me, just as there is no point to this.  just writing for writing’s sake i guess.  what else am i gonna do at work, work?  c’mon, you’re better then that.  plus today is one of those days i checked out as soon as my alarm went off.  which is rough cause i have a ton of work i need to get done and lord knows i won’t do anything on Friday, and i HATE doing things on Monday…

I wonder how long I will keep this blog up? (that’s what she said…. i didnt’ want to say it but everyone’s thinking it). hopefully it’s not like everything else i do in my life where i get fired up for something and lose interest 10 mins after starting it.  like these 4 day diets i go on, or my 2 day working out binge i go on and then stop forever.  i actually belong to a gym and pay $10 a month, and i’ve belonged there for almost 2 years… but i’ve never went inside.  haha for real, i signed up when the gym was being built because the deal was it’s 10 beans a month and i’m like “you cant’ beat that!”and then the gym opened and i never went to it ever.  honestly, it’s almost 2 years later i’ve never even been inside.  i look at the $10 charge a month as my fat tax, like i pay 10 bucks a month to be fine with the fact i don’t excerice or eat well.  like it’s okay to be lazy cause i’m paying 10 beans for it.  seems like a fair price to me.  so if i ever owe you 10 bucks and i say i don’t have it tell me to quit that gym already

 i’ve already decided i need a new name for this blog.  yeah i get it, i say everything’s the MONEY.  cause swingers only came out 25 years ago and is so relevant.  maybe i’ll call it the “we’re not worthy!” blog because wayne’s world is so topical these days.  btw, waynes world 2 was on last weekend.  highly underrated movie and kim bassinger and drew barrymore are SMOKING hot in that, goodness. and drew w/ that swedish accent… yes please!  wait, what was my point of getting into wayne’s world 2?  oh yeah for real watch the 2nd one for kim and drew it’s worth it for that alone, and it’s really funny. 

so yeah that’s it for Day Dos, help me think of a new name for this blog already….

random nonsense:

-how do girls walk in heels drunk? i mean, i don’t get how they do it period, but for real when i’m bombed i’m a stumbling, close-talking mess… and that’s in sneakers! if i was balancing on heels i’d be breaking stuff everywhere in sight, even more so then i do now.  i’m glad you wear them ladies but for real walking in heels drunk is like a superpower

-speaking of girls, why do some girls call their period their “friend”.  like i’m getting “my friend” this week… really?  because i feel like if i was a girl that’d be my worst enemy ever.  the word friend would never come into the equation.  for some reason bleeding out my privates does not make me think of my friends

-it’s tough being Hispanic but not being a stereotype.  i feel as a comedian i will miss out because i don’t get to use my race in my jokes.  it’s just hard to pull off, “don’t you hate how all Mexicans like pearl jam, shower thoroughly and watch the Office?”  yeah it just doesnt’ work.  and oh yeah new Office 2nite finally, the big proposal episode. i still can’t believe carrell is leaving

– why do some bathrooms have the lightswitch on the outside??  is that not the worst f’n thing ever? hey i’m sitting down w/ my pants around my ankles regretting that late night white castle trip, the last thing i need is the power to see in the bathroom in the hands of my ahole friends outside.  if you’re gonna put the light switch outside why not the toilet paper too? as long as we are making horrific decisions and all

-i know most guys know nothing about women, because i constantly see them blowing it and making horrible decisions.  but here’s a tip fellas, never tell a girl she looks tired.  they f’n HATE it.  they’re already super insecure about everything from their weight and their height, etc, no need to make it worse Don Juan.  when you tell a girl she looks tired you’re really saying “wow you look AWFUL!” nice compliment deek

-if your wedding is not an open bar, you have to realize that not everyone will be happy to be there…

-miguel josé

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3 Responses to “I can’t promise i’ll try, but i’ll try to try. – bart simpson”

  1. Stefanie March 24, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

    hysterical Miguel…keep it going..it gives me something to read during my lunch break =)

    Like

  2. pinkfishgrl March 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    LMAO!! Once again you have me in tears from laughing so hard. I remember when you joined that gym…I didnt join cause I knew going is def not happening. Hahahaha…Money is still f”n Money to me…. A womans period is only her friend when she wants none babies popping out, and ruining her life… That bathroom switch thing, lmfao..I always think…who's the asshole that put the switch on the outside??!! Douchebag!! xoxox
    Keep this up because I told you to…Kk thanks
    xoxoxox
    -Alex

    Like

  3. Laura March 25, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    Thanks for some good laughs. See you already got more than 2 ppl and urself reading this thing! Def quit that gym, and for ur information I do not call my period my friend, though i have a 7 month old now so in hindsight maybe I should have haha. No for real, he is a blessing, but more a blessing in disguise when he does his 2 o'clock wake ups and cries for no apparent reason. Then I tell him grow up! Glad to see someone posting stuff on facebook actually worth reading. Hope all is well Miguel xoxo
    Lowra

    Like

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